If you are my age you grew up with the bomb. As a child I would peer out the window of my Dad’s Chevrolet as we drove to my grandparent’s home in Paris (Texas) and wonder if any of the summer clouds billowing in the sky signaled an attack (Dad! That one looks like a mushroom!). In October 1962, at Landrum Junior High in Houston, we drilled daily during the Cuban Missile Crisis. The siren would howl, and we would drop under our desks and cover our heads in expectation of the big blast.

During that frightful week the school administration had the bright idea that we would have a drill to test evacuating the school and going home. We were not to actually go home, but to make our way to our transportation of choice (bus, car, bike) and then return to class. My friend Kenny Farris didn’t get the message, and once on his bike he high-tailed it back to the neighborhood.

If you are my age, you grew up with the bomb.

But the bomb never came. We drilled. We feared. We watched Nikita Khrushchev pound his shoe on his desk at the UN and promise that he would bury us. Khrushchev faded, the Soviet Union dissolved, and the bomb never came.

Except there are two cities where the bomb did come, and I am visiting both. In fact, I am sitting in my hotel room tonight, sipping a cold glass of sake in Hiroshima. I am drinking to those who died, to those who fought, and to those who knew (such as Leo Szilard), that once the bomb fell children everywhere would see mushrooms in summer clouds.

I never expected to live to be 30. Now I will be 60 in a few days, and I have a granddaughter who is 21. She is both Japanese and American, and we are, together with her grandmother, trying to grasp the meaning of Nagasaki and Hiroshima within the context of our family. Our family is both victor and vanquished, and this trip is about how we, as a family, reconcile the two.

Reconciliation, for us, began in Nagasaki. We arrived after a two-hour express train ride from Fukuoka, and we settled into one of the famous ryokans in the region, Sakamoto.  After years (decades, actually) of traveling in Japan there is no comfort I appreciate more than a traditional ryokan. As Cassady and Virginia shopped, I relaxed in our room and worked on a couple of projects hanging over my head.

My work continued the following morning, but that afternoon we joined a formal bus tour of the sites that we, as a family, wanted to see. This is not a tour for the squeamish. This is a tour for those who want to grab Nagasaki by the neck and throttle it until the truth shakes loose. Like paregoric, the truth is best dosed in a single gulp. The tour began at the Nagasaki Atomic Bomb Museum.

Nothing here is new. In school we were shown the effects of the bomb, watching grainy black-and-white movies with banshee winds sweeping buildings into dust. But being here, at the exact spot where so many suffered and died, is different. Nagasaki is not a movie. Nagasaki is not a myth. Nagasaki is a flesh-and-blood community, an amalgamation of people whose parents and grandparents were victims of the unbridled insanity of war.

Before I move forward, let me make one side comment. I am not questioning Truman’s decision or the morality of the dropping of the atomic bomb. As one then not yet born, that is not my right.

Yet consider the following quotes from two who were. Paul Fussell, the educator and writer, sat in Okinawa in 1945 waiting for what appeared to be the inevitable invasion of mainland Japan. Upon hearing of Hiroshima, Fussell recalled being overcome with the realization that “we were going to live. We were going to grow up to adulthood after all.” Fussell also wrote that the “worst thing about war was the sitting around and wondering what you were doing morally.”

Now consider this quote from Keijiro Matsushima; “I did not come here to blame. You veterans did your job. But at the same time, what you dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki was very horrible. Now, if possible, please, just a drop of your tears, and a prayer that this never happens again.”

We came to Nagasaki to shed tears and to pray that this never happens again, to our family or to yours.

The Nagasaki Atomic Bomb museum is raw, brazen, at times grotesque, and yet sympathetically elegant. As you enter you are confronted with the moment: August 9, 1945, 11:02 AM. In an instant, between 40,000 and 80,000 human beings were irradiated, incinerated, and, in many cases, vaporized. These people, going about their lives as we do ours, were carbonized.

The question of guilt or innocence is moot. Yes, Nagasaki and Hiroshima were military targets in that Mitsubishi operated armament plants in both. Yes, there were around 2000 school age children who were conscripted to work in the Mitsubishi armament plant in Nagasaki who died in the bombing. These children were “conscripts” (as were around 10,000 Koreans), yet they died among the “guilty.” I am assigning no blame. Yet the voices of the dead, the voices of the innocent, deserve a hearing.

The Nagasaki Atomic Bomb Museum, in part, speaks for the dead. As you enter you hear the tick-tock of a clock, measuring the moments before the blast. The first image is the famous film of the detonation, taken as the American bombers circled Nagasaki before returning to base. Across from the video is a clock from that city, stopped at 11:02. By 11:03 thousands were dead.

The remainder of the museum houses the detritus from that moment, and attempts to explain the process by which Nagasaki came to be the target from the world’s first plutonium bomb – Fat Man. As many of you know, my company is involved in interpretation, the art of communicating these iconic resources and events. I am of the camp that believes that “fair and balanced” is neither. No interpretation is without the biases or opinions of the writer. A simple choice of one word can shade the entire meaning of a story, an article, or an interpretive sign. Words such as “victim,” for example, are loaded. Some words, such as “gay,” have evolved in recent times. What about the word “terrorism?”

Here is another example. In the English language version of the Nagasaki Atomic Bombing Monuments pamphlet, there is this section:

Soil stratum of ground level at the time of the atomic bombing. This soil stratum contains fragments of roof tiles and bricks, scorched soil, melted glass and other objects damaged in the explosion. It is preserved in order the tell of the atrocity of the atomic bombing.

Atrocity? See how one word, perhaps, in this case, a translation glitch, can color the meaning of an entire narrative? Replace atrocity (implying a crime) with tragedy and the message is dramatically changed. Touchy stuff, this interpretation business.

From my perspective, the Nagasaki Atomic Bomb Museum offers a reasonably balanced approach to the event with one glaring exception. There is no discussion of the role of the Japanese military or its leader, Hirohito, in the events that led to August 9, 1945, 11:02 AM. There is a triangular display of all people who had a role in the development and use of the bomb (Roosevelt, Churchill, Einstein, Neils Bohr, Robert Oppenheimer, even Hitler and Stalin), but Hirohito is nowhere to be seen. And what about Yoshio Nishina, a former student of Bohr’s, ordered in April 1941 to establish the Japanese atomic bomb project? Japan, Germany, Britain, Russia, and the United States were all chasing the bomb. Isn’t that part of the Nagasaki story as well?

History is a complex interlacing of conflicting, contradictory, convoluted, and confusing events that shed light, and often shadows, on what we experience today. To apply logic to the past is as nonsensical as trying to apply logic to the present. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the story of war. War is insane. The decisions of governments in war are insane.  Honor the dead, celebrate the heroic, yet pray that humankind finds its way past war to loving one’s neighbor.

I came to know Japan through Seth’s wife and family, and now our three grandchildren. I have come to respect the culture, the history of these people, and the incomprehensible faith that allowed them to rebuild after being so totally undone. What has reconciled our family, with fathers and grandfathers once embroiled on opposite sides in a world war, is love.